Oops.

We killed Conan O'Brien.

Technically, it was an accident. Sort of.

My friend Jaimie and I were in an ice rink and we saw Conan O'Brien in a crowd of people. Our intent was simply to kidnap him, not accidentally kill him, but as the movie "Fargo" taught us, wood-chippers are really freaking scary.

We kidnapped Conan and put him in the trunk of a car, but in the process we somehow accidentally melted him, which was really disturbing. I freaked out and was sure we had killed him, but Jaimie apparently thought we could un-melt him later on and was not worried in the least.

So we had Conan melted in a bucket.

Then he was magically un-melted and we were backstage at one of his shows, meeting him, and Jaimie fainted because she really, really loves him.

Conan loved Jaimie and her quirkiness so much that he decided to create a segment on his show that featured her, and she was in every one of his shows for a week.

P.S. I'm going to see the new documentary called "Conan O'Brien Can't Stop" and so should everyone who reads this post.




"Un-melt me, you fools!"










I'm Conan O'Brien and I am extremely young.











I'm Conan O'Brien and I'm the Prime Minister of Finland.













I'm Conan O'Brien and I haz a turkey.