What is it with me and creepy dreams about hands?

A lot of crazy things that don't make sense happened in this dream but I don't feel like blogging those things, so I'll just describe the main (most disturbing) event.

I was on a road trip with my family to my Uncle Brad and Aunt Roseann's giant villa in the countryside. (They do not have a giant villa. But in my dream it was really amazing and lush and floral, etc.)

In the process of traveling to/being at my aunt and uncles' villa, I somehow managed to grow two extra fingers on my right hand, between my ring finger and pinky finger. They were both the size of my ring finger and one was slightly on top of the other, and I could freely move all seven fingers at will.



This is not what my hand looked like at all, actually. I couldn't find an accurate representation on Google Images. Plus, this hand has six fingers. Mine had seven.

I notified my mother that I had grown two extra fingers, and soon there was a blonde nurse telling me she had to cut my two extra fingers off.

For some reason, the nurse refused to give me any kind of pain killers or anesthesia before the procedure, so I kept chickening out. (Can you blame me?)

Finally, after flaking out several times and being told nonsensical reasons why I couldn't have painkillers before the finger-slicing-off commenced, I went into my mom's car and popped a ton of pills, blacked out, and when I woke up there were two little pink ovals where my fingers used to be.

Medium to Another Dimension

I think I should write a novel based on this dream.

I also think I may have been a boy in this dream. Actually, I'm sure I was. That's okay with me, I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to spend one night male.

I'm this guy who is a medium between this dimension and (I'm assuming) several other dimensions because there was one dimension that I could visit when I needed time alone (which I do - a lot.) and there was one that was like the afterlife and I could tell when people were about to shift into that dimension and help them transition more smoothly. I shifted between dimensions in a dream-sleep-state, taking care of the dying and visiting my other reality late in the night.

This was my secret and stayed that way for most of my life, up until this dream took place.

At this point in my connection to the alternate dimension, I was at a building reminiscent of a high school, signing up for clubs and feeling very free and happy with my alternate dimension life, as opposed to my turbulent this-dimension life. In my time in this dimension, I was beginning to sense that my grandmother was about to transition into the afterlife. (She’s pretty darn old and very dear to me and my family.)

I was so used to assisting people into the afterlife dimension that I didn’t think much of it – I had the security of knowing that there was a place beyond this earth. Because of this, my grandma’s passing was no big deal to me, but I had forgotten what my family, who didn’t have my special quirks, would be going through.

The transition didn’t go smoothly, and my grandma, it turns out, was not quite ready to move on. Therefore, she and my family were under the impression that I had attempted to murder my grandmother, which I found out when my father and brother burst into my bedroom one morning pointing guns at my head.

I somehow got away from the men and guns and ran outside in my pajamas, through my front yard and down the sidewalk. However, the next door neighbor, Mrs. Neihaus, had been informed of my attempted homicide and appeared on her front porch, ready to alert the authorities or attack me, I don’t know which.

I veered to the right and ran into the Neihaus’ backyard and wriggled through their basement window into the basement before anyone saw me.

The basement was light enough for me to see, and I could see some clutter and several doors. I ran forward to a door that almost completely blended into the wall and threw it open. Inside, there was a set of stairs. I knew as soon as I saw the stairs that this door led to my alternate dimension, and there was no way that the Neihaus’ knew it was there.

I ran up the stairs, closing the door behind me, and was safe in my alternate dimension for the time being.

In my safe dimension, I was bringing money in to the theatre department of the high school building so I could be in the pit band for Beauty and the Beast. (Which makes sense because in real life I was in the pit of B & B at my school and it was one of my favorite experiences – my safe place would definitely have that in it.)

I decided after a while that I needed to go back to my real dimension to get some provisions since I was planning on moving into my alternate safe dimension forever to get away from the witch hunt going on in the real dimension.

When I got back to the real dimension, it was nighttime and there weren’t many other people around. I got everything that I needed but in the process a few of my friends saw me. I don’t remember this part, but I must have convinced three of them to join me in the other dimension (I could help them get there) because the next thing I knew I was back in the Neihaus’ basement with one of my friends, frantically trying to find the door back to my safe dimension as an alarm was going off and I could hear Mrs. Neihaus waking up upstairs.

We tried several doors, then I suddenly remembered that the door I had used blended into the wall and started scouring the dark basement walls for a door. I found it just in time and my friend and I leaped onto the stairs just before we would have been found.

The end of the dream was actually a legitimate dream conclusion, which rarely happens to me.

Myself, the friend-girl who had been door-searching with me, my two other friend-boys, and my friend Anna who had recently joined us after realizing my innocence were sitting at a table, eating and laughing together, happy and free from the stress and judgment of the real world and from my previous plague of random dimension-shifting.

Fantastical Dream Number One

This dream was a fantastical nightmare, actually. Both of my fantastical dreams were, now that I think about it.

This one started out as my typical anxiety dream, worrying about a subject that has been featured in my anxiety dreams often lately - my graduation party.

Most of my grad party dreams have been based around nobody showing up to my party. However, this one took a slightly different direction.

People were showing up to my party and it was going pretty well. There were a few speed bumps, like all of the people being people I don't know very well and my having to step out of the party to prepare some things I should've taken care of before the party started. Still, my worries about no one showing up were gone.



Then my brother found a disembodied hand in our garage. And that ruined everything. As usual, I attempted to call 9-1-1 but was incapable of correctly dialing the numbers.

So my party was completely ruined by a disembodied hand.

Oops.

We killed Conan O'Brien.

Technically, it was an accident. Sort of.

My friend Jaimie and I were in an ice rink and we saw Conan O'Brien in a crowd of people. Our intent was simply to kidnap him, not accidentally kill him, but as the movie "Fargo" taught us, wood-chippers are really freaking scary.

We kidnapped Conan and put him in the trunk of a car, but in the process we somehow accidentally melted him, which was really disturbing. I freaked out and was sure we had killed him, but Jaimie apparently thought we could un-melt him later on and was not worried in the least.

So we had Conan melted in a bucket.

Then he was magically un-melted and we were backstage at one of his shows, meeting him, and Jaimie fainted because she really, really loves him.

Conan loved Jaimie and her quirkiness so much that he decided to create a segment on his show that featured her, and she was in every one of his shows for a week.

P.S. I'm going to see the new documentary called "Conan O'Brien Can't Stop" and so should everyone who reads this post.




"Un-melt me, you fools!"










I'm Conan O'Brien and I am extremely young.











I'm Conan O'Brien and I'm the Prime Minister of Finland.













I'm Conan O'Brien and I haz a turkey.

Awesome-sauce Dream

This dream was so cool. So cool.

I'm at this camp/festival thing, not really clear on what it is, but there's a group of people that I'm with. However, most of them are my family member, all three grandparents and several aunts, uncles, and cousins.

We were making a movie at this festival, and myself and my grandpa and paternal grandma were all in it, as well as my second cousin (who my mind made up) to whom I was very attracted. (I am, once again, newly single.) He looked kind of like my friend Matt and his name was Zack, I believe. He was related to me on the Smith side, but I eventually found out that we were not blood-related, his side of the family was married in.

In this movie, my grandma was playing a super glamorous, bad-ass queen. My grandma is not usually the kind of person who dresses up, but she was wearing a huge, shiny gown and a fantastic headdress. The headdress was red with enormous feathers sticking out of it in a semicircle.

My grandpa was an Ice God. There was this bit with blocks of ice that turned into living ice statues while we watched, then my grandpa was dressed as a huge, masculine ice god. My second cousin who I was in love with and I were in this scene.

The scene was that the ice god shot two hunks of ice at us and granted us each a wish, but I kept forgetting my one line again and again.

Finally, after the scene, Zack and I were alone together and jumped on him and kissed him, but he pushed me away. I was sad.

Glees & Bees

Just to clear this up ahead of time, I am not a gigantic Glee fan. I find it entertaining and sometimes enjoy the music, but I don't LOVE it. However, I get a LOT of sub-conscious action with Chord Overstreet.

There was some sort of Glee concert/musical going on at a venue near my house, and my friends and I went to see it.

SOMEHOW, and I don't know how because I never get to meet famous people, I ran into both Chord Overstreet and the guy who plays Mike Chang. Upon meeting first Sam and then Mike, I approached them and planted a huge kiss on each of their lips. I somehow convinced both of them that I was part of the musical and they were supposed to kiss me. This was by far the best part of the dream.


I switched dreams completely after this. My friend Anna and I are in a store with Ethan and my Uncle Jeff. I'm wearing a green plaid prom dress and Anna is also in a dress, I don't remember what it looked like. (Green plaid would not be my first choice on a prom dress.)

Anna and I are shopping for a necklace to wear with my dress. I vividly remember trying on two necklaces, one that is a large green plastic star on a red string and the other that is a large red plastic star on a green string.

I gave up on matching the necklace with my clothing and finally chose a necklace that was an ornate, abstract wooden carving on a cord. I went to buy it and Uncle Jeff was buying Ethan a train set.

We all got into the car, a convertible, and began driving home, when we drove through a cloud of bees. Like most normal people, I hate bees.

I swatted a few away, but then a bee flew into each of my ears and started burrowing in. I was afraid to stick my fingers into my ears to try and get them out because the bees would sting the inside of my ears. They kept burrowing further in and buzzing, and when I was almost woken up I remembered that I was wearing earplugs and so the bees could not be in my ears after all.


I freaking hate bees.

On a side note, I was about halfway through the bee story when a spider crawled under my door and into my room and it led to me trying and failing to kill it three times, then waking up my brother in the middle of the night so he could kill it for me and I don't even feel bad because I can't stop thinking about that statistic that says people eat like 500 spiders a year in their sleep and I keep feeling crawly legs on me gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

*UPDATE*
One of my friends just told me that that spider-eating statistic was just made up to see how fast fake statistics can spread. I have chosen to believe her.

Return of the Dreams IV: Anxiety-ish Dream

To make up for my laziness in not posting my previous anxiety dream, I will post this awesome but hard-to-describe dream from last night. I'm not sure if it quite constitutes an anxiety dream because it's a situation that would never happen to me ever, whereas the one I had before was about a situation I was stressed out about in reality. Regardless, I'm calling it an anxiety dream. Deal with it.

I recently watched all three Terminator movies within 24 hours, and it was apparently influential, because my dream followed the same basic plot. My father, who works for a large, well-known car company, was apparently going to do something very influential in the future and was being hunted down by assassins in the present to try and stop him. Also, inexplicably, I was being hunted too.

The most disturbing part is that the people who are hunting us are all people I know. It starts out as just my father and I being hunted, then it turns into sort of two teams, and alternates between the two.

The stalking/hunting/shooting takes place in a building that is a cross between my old high school and my old church. (That probably means something.) The two sides are based in different areas, and there's a strange door that leads to my side. (More on that later.)

These are the events that I remember.

First, my dad and I get shot at. That is the last time I see my dad for most of the dream. I think one of us may have gotten hit, but we were both alive when we got separated. The people shooting at us were young, my age, and I knew most of them but I can't remember who it was now.

Next, I was at the part of the building that was more my high school. I had driven there in the rain and was trying to figure out how I could get in without having to cross through the assassins' territory. I figured out that I could park in a spot that was right outside my territory, and I got out in the rain and was working on getting myself and my stuff through a gate/fence thing, when I figured out that the fence was not attached and I could lift it a few feet and slide through. My old friend Jennie was there, also. I haven't spoken to her in a long time and I wasn't sure if she was on my side or not, but neither of us made any move to hurt the other.

Next, I was with someone from the other side, she was unarmed, and I was at the door to my territory. The girl was a friend I had in middle school, a very unstable person, who then moved away in high school and I haven't seen her in a long time. I was trying to figure out a way to get through the door without letting her see how is worked.

The door was a time portal, and it was more of a trap door when you opened it. If you just dropped through, you ended up in our territory, but if you somersaulted into it, you traveled backwards or forwards in time, depending on the direction of your somersault. I fed her some lie about how the door worked, went through it the right way, (which was very claustrophobia-inducing because the tunnel I went through was tight - not people-sized - not sure how I got through it.) and ended up in my territory safely. This part was more in my old church than in my old school.

Then, I took a little side-trip to a store with my close friend Anna. Anna was one of the assassins, but there was some sort of unspoken agreement between us that when we were one-on-one with each other, we had a truce. However, she was being too casual and had a gadget with assassin files on it right in front of me, and I couldn't help but try to get some of the information without her noticing. (It didn't work, but she didn't notice either.)

At the end of the dream, I was running down a church hallway trying to get to my dad. I had just realized that the kids he was with, who he thought he was mentoring, were going to try and kill him. I woke up before I knew if I had made it or not.




Also, before all of that business, I dreamed that I met Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. He was really gay, and I was trying to act like it was no big deal that he was Arnold Schwarzenegger's son but I was dying to ask him all about it. I didn't want to mention this before the other dream because it would kind of ruin it.

Return of the Dreams Part III: Boring Dream

I actually had a different Part III dream earlier, an anxiety dream, but I blogged half of it and then my computer froze and I just never followed through. Sorry.

This one was fairly boring for a long time and then mildly interesting near the end.

The first part that I can clearly remember took place in my garage and driveway. I drove up with Anna and Jaimie in my van and pulled into my garage. It was snowing, so we were trying to get the snow out of my van.

As Anna and Jaimie were in my van and I was standing outside of it, my mom's boss, our school librarian, Mrs. Goudie, pulled up in her burnt orange pick-up truck. (I'm very confident that my school librarian does NOT drive a pick-up truck.)

It turns out that I was parked in Mrs. Goudie's spot in my garage. Shortly after, two more cars pulled up wanting to park in the garage as well, one that I wasn't sure was supposed to be there and one that I was pretty sure was supposed to be there. We then attempted to fit three cars into my two car garage. That's the end of that part.

Then my family and I went out to dinner with my doctor, on whom I have an enormous crush. On our way to the restaurant I was walking with Marshall and Ted from "How I Met Your Mother," and they were dressed up as a guy walking his dog, but I'm not sure which one was the walker and which one was the dog.

When we got to the restaurant, my doctor insisted on sitting next to me. It made me super nervous.

The end.