Well, it wasn't a dream hiatus. It was a blog hiatus. But the dream I had last night was so fucking cool, I couldn't not write it down. And after I had written it down it seemed silly not to blog it.
I am very comfortable in my heterosexual androgynous-ness, so being a guy in a dream doesn't scare me. That being said, I was a guy in this dream.
I believe I was bald. I was average guy height, thin but not particularly muscular. I distinctly remember that I was wearing a grey hoodie and khaki pants. My face was broad, and rather interesting. My eyes were wide set and piercing, a long straight nose, and a wide, serious mouth.
The weirdest part was that my skin was not my normal beige-tan-ish color, or any other normal skin color for that matter. My whole body looked like a circuit board - dark green with intricate gold and silver lines and dots. (I'm not really sure how else to describe a circuit board.)
The main premise of the dream was that I had recently discovered that I had the power of telekinesis and was in some sort of group of do-gooders with superpowers. (Not necessarily superheroes or spies or demi-gods or anything, I'm not sure what they were.) Anyway, my telekinesis was rather weak but in typical protagonist-chosen-one style, I was told that I was destined to have incredible abilities. The only question was when the powers would hit me. In the meantime I was doing some sort of training and ended up getting sent on a mission to an enemy base, which is where the dream really started. (I somehow already knew the background info.)
My guardians/mentors/what-have-you sent me off to the base in what appeared to be a hot air balloon, although that's not at all relevant to the story. I was supposedly new enough that I could pretend to be a member of the enemy team without being recognized, assuming I kept a low profile and stayed alert. My job was to get to the roof, there was something I was supposed to retrieve from there. My mentors gave me a card with a fake identity and facts written on it for me to use if people asked who I was. As far as I know there were only two people who would know who I was, an attractive blonde girl and boy who were members of the enemy team.
I arrived at the base and walked in casually, my hood up to shadow my face, which would give me away before anything else. On my way up the first floor, I inexplicably saw my first boyfriend's older brother. I do not know what he was doing there.
I managed to run into both blonde kids on my way up the levels, and while I faked my way out of the run-in with the girl, it was a narrow escape with the boy. I knew that I needed to start moving faster, I was definitely on their radars. It appeared that one of my many talents was the uncanny ability to keep a straight face in any situation.
Shortly after that point, my cover began to unravel. Word got around that I was not one of them, and a couple of them referred to me as "Number 5," as if I was a significant threat that had been predicted.
It became more of an undercover thing and less of a casual thing, and there was a large group of the enemies heading towards me at one point, so I went into a nearby laundry room. Attempting to camouflage myself, I lay face-down on the tile behind the washing machine and dryer.
As I've said before, I'm not one to censor my dreams. Because honestly, they're more interesting un-censored. So if you'd prefer not to traumatize your innocent mind, just skip this next paragraph.
While I was lying there on the ground, these two girls clad only in underwear showed up. I believe one was a red-head and one was African-American. They both came over to me and lay down on either side of me. They were apparently looking for sex from me, the strange-looking guy lying on his face in a laundry room. However, the enemy group would be less likely to notice me if I had two nearly-nude women covering me, so I just went along with it. Unfortunately for me, they turned out to be really gross girls. One of the girls was wearing an ill-fitting bra and her nipples were both exposed and were really, really grossing me out. Then one of them tried to get me to finger her, and rather than explain that I was actually a heterosexual woman having a dream and I would not find that pleasurable, I just told her to do it herself, which she did and it was horrifying. I don't know if I decided I'd rather risk great personal harm than spend any more time with two gross, horny women, but I ended up outside the laundry room, continuing my trek up to the roof even though the danger was significantly greater now.
Of course, inevitably, a whole group of enemies came stampeding over and after one of the blonde kids confirmed in a yell: "He's Number 5!" they attacked me, and I had no defense strong enough to fight them off.
They dragged me up to the roof, ironically where I'd been heading anyway, but then they attached me to a large wooden plus sign so that it was impossible for me to move and I was left to hang there helplessly. (It was not a cross, so don't go reading way too much into that. It was a plus sign. And I'm not sure if I was nailed to it or not, I was stuck, that's all I know.)
The group of enemies left me there helpless and alone, going back down into their base. But all of a sudden, I felt a rumble below me as if something was building up around me. The rumble quickly escalated into a whirlwind with me in the center. I could feel myself changing, becoming the "Chosen One" I was destined to be.
I yanked my hands towards each other, splitting the wooden plus in half easily. The whirlwind was still in full blast. The enemy team began running back up onto the roof, but they were no match for me. As I dropped the pieces of the plus behind me and turned to face them, I knew that what was supposed to happen had happened and I was more powerful than anyone had expected - the crowd of people didn't scare me in the least. I felt superhuman. Beyond human. Like a god. It was breathtaking.
Like this but not evil. I just really, really wanted to make a Star Wars reference.
And that's how I woke up, in the middle of that incredible rush. It was a really, really good day.
