Wait, what?

This dream was very long and very complicated, so I only remember little bits of it. As far as I can tell, it was not a bad dream.

The first part had something to do with my grandmother living in the wild. We were either on a raft or in a tree house or both. That's all I remember about the first one.

The weird part started with the second dream. I probably remembered my cousin telling me to go to a drag show in college, so in the dream I was arriving to see a drag show and looking around for people I knew to sit with. I was confused because all of the guys were in normal clothes, not drag. BUT THEN...

I saw my old band director, Mr. R, dressed up in drag. Which was extremely uncomfortable. He is not a drag-wearing sort of guy. He was wearing a short red dress with spaghetti straps and a black ruffle around the bottom, fishnets, and black high heels. He didn't see me because he was taking his sons to see the drag show. (I think he only has one adult son in real life.)

I found a table to sit at with some girls I knew, but the only person I remember from it was my friend Abby, who has been in one dream of mine before. Still on the subject of band directors, the other girls at the table (who must've been band kids) started complaining about Mr. B from last year, which semi-pissed me off, as usual.

While we were sitting there, this guy started jogging past our table and I thought it was Mr. R again, in jogging clothes this time. But the guy looked up and it was my DAD, when he was a young man. He looked about thirty. (Which is how old he was when I was born.)

I stopped him and decided to talk to him for a minute. I told him I was his daughter, which he went with for some reason, even though I was probably really an infant in his life. (This was really surreal, by the way.) We chatted for a moment and then he went on his way. That was about it.

In the spirit of this dream, my lovely visual for this post is this:

Revenge of the Anxiety Dreams!

I now have a new ridiculous situation to have an anxiety dream about - my graduation party.

The first problem in the long litany of goings-wrong was that the location was kind of weird. At one point, some people who had been at a funeral nearby showed up, so the party must have been somewhere near a funeral home. (Coincidentally, I just heard on the radio about how funeral homes sometimes rent out their larger rooms for parties and weddings.)

Then, no one was showing up! One of my worst fears, rejection. Maybe one of the people I invited came.

Then someone (I don't remember who) convinced me to go somewhere with them, to the store or something. Like an idiot, I followed, and when we got back to the party venue it turned out that all of the people I'd invited that hadn't showed had stopped by in the margin of time that I was away.

The party was an overall failure that left me feeling very, very sorry for myself and at the end of the dream I realized that my one guaranteed guest for the party, Boyfriend, hadn't even been there.

Bad day today, too. :/

A Horrible Dream.

This dream is ridiculously easy to interpret, if you know me personally. (I'll give some background at the end.)

The first horrible thing that happened was that the kids' choir at my church was putting on a musical. (That's not the horrible part.) Part of it involved a small kiddy pool, for some reason. I went to help out for a rehearsal and the director off-handedly told me that a girl had drowned in the kiddy pool last night. I spent the rest of the dream trying to figure out how this happned, and it came down to this: everyone else had gone home but this girl's parents weren't on time to pick her up. Nobody really seemed to like her. There was another older girl still there - a combination of Melanie, Bailey, and Brooke, and she was playing baseball with herself or something weird like that. She told me that she had seen the girl go into the pool and drown, she just didn't do anything about it.

Then my flute teacher Jeff showed up at my house to find out why I was missing the masterclass that I cancelled on yesterday. I was very upset from hearing about this poor girl at my church and didn't really want to see him at all. He was demanding to know why I cancelled because on the phone I had said "It's private." I wasn't answering, but my mom came up behind me and started telling him about the girl who had drowned at our church, and he figured that that was why I had cancelled and apologized profusely, but I pretty much still hate him now.

Then there was a really disturbing part where I was back at church and the music director and I were talking about the girl who had died, and she pulled out a drawer and pulled out the girl's body from it. She looked like she was sleeping, except that her skin looked kind of white-blue. Then, in a way more confusing part, I found out that the girl had survived, and someone handed me a baby and said that it was her and that she was still alive.

Then, in a more random part, I was renting two movies from a movie place and the lady at the check-out was my piano accompanist. I still couldn't understand what she was saying.

---Some background info: Someone very close to me recently drowned and it was horrible. I really did call and cancel on a masterclass yesterday, because I was getting stupidly anxious about it and really, really didn't want to do it and I think that I should only do the extra-curricular things I want to do, but Jeff told me he was "disappointed" and I cried for a while because it made me feel like a failure. This is probably my brain's way of making an excuse for why I can't go. ---

Neighbor Hate

50th recorded dream!

My next door neighbor, Mrs. N, was throwing a very pretentious party. She needed several pretty girls to act as waitresses and asked me. However, at the time she asked me, I was not well informed on the dress code and didn't have any way to contact her (somehow, even though she lives next door.) and so wore a t-shirt and jeans to the party.

I guess I dressed wrong, because all of the other girls were in little black dresses. The night quickly went downhill. Apparently, the waitresses were being given points as the night went on for doing waitress-y things well. Mrs. N gave me all of one point for the entire night, she kind of hated me. The other girls were getting points up to 20+, and I was feeling incompetent and stupid.

I talked to my mom later about how Mrs. N was treating me, and she was sympathetic. (Which is weird, because my mom is rarely sympathetic.)

The morals of this dream are: I have an irrational fear of neighbors. (Mrs. N is actually a lovely person.)
I am feeling the stress of the competition of audition season. It was apparently channeled through my failure as a waitress.

Hunted for Secrets

This dream was so bizarre.

I had somehow had some sort of secrets put in my head. (Chuck... duh. I'm such a loser, I can't even have an original dream.) Probably government secrets, because from the moment I got them, I started being hunted. (On a side note, NEW CHUCK TOMORROW WOOOOOOO!!!)

After somehow getting these secrets, I started being hunted. It began when I was with some of my old friends who graduated last year. We were in a car, and this guy showed up outside the car and took out a weapon. It was kind of like a blow-gun, he was holding a dark blue tube, about a foot long, and when he blew on it a glowing, neon spear-like thing flew out at us. It didn't hurt whoever it hit, because it was meant to get the secrets out of me and I guess that was it's only purpose. I managed to dodge every one he shot at me.

We were at several different locations over the course of the dream, and every time we went somewhere else, someone with the glowing-spear-blow-gun would show up and try to shoot me, and I managed to dodge every time, but I was becoming very anxious and stressed and paranoid as the dream went on.

Finally, my mom and I decided that I should just give in. It was too stressful and terrifying to be living like that, always in fear. I let one of the neon spears hit me and spilled all of the secrets, which in my dream looked kind of like calculus homework.

I don't know if this was in my dream last night or in one the night before that I just displaced, but at one point in this dream, an oboe player from MPulse, Emily, was in the same room as me and I saw her, but she didn't see me. I had that dilemma that I always do about whether or not I should bother saying "hello" because sometimes I have a fear of being social. I don't remember if we ended up saying "hello."

Then there was a kind of gross part, I'm pretty sure that this was in the dream last night. I had been running around for the whole dream, wearing a cotton t-shirt and no bra, and I guess there was some... chafing going on. At one point I saw someone give me a disgusted look and I looked down and saw two blood spots over my nipples. It was pretty damn gross.

Anna's New Boyfriend

Just a thought, I tend to sprinkle my dreams with celebritites.

My dream the other night (I haven't been home lately so it took me a while to record this one) involved my friend Anna, and obviously, her new boyfriend. (Sidenote-Anna does not have a new boyfriend, that is purely my brainpower.) He looked like Jamie Bell but with a little more meat on his bones.

Anyway, this new boyfriend of hers goes to EMU, where I just was, coincidentally, and knows my friend Fran and her boyfriend (real). The new boyfriend was really cool and Anna and I were hanging out with him on campus and we ran into Fran and Fran's boyfriend.

I hope Fran doesn't read this, because I'm now going to say that I've had my suspicions that her boyfriend might be gay. I admitted this to Anna's NBF after Fran and FBF left, and he said something like, "Of course he's gay. You didn't know that?"

Thus, suspicions confirmed. In my sub-conscious.

An unpleasant dream of unpleasantness.

This dream was a stream really bizarre events.

It starts out with a scene of disaster, my father and I were both on these weird rollercoaster things, and they have malfunctioned and caused us minor injuries. The reason they have malfunctioned is because someone on one of them fell asleep with gum in their mouth. (I feel like I should put a side-note here - I hate gum-chewers with a passion. A fiery, fiery passion. I want to punch anyone who's chewing gum anywhere near me all the time.) We blamed this awful, awful girl who may have been our exchange student or was for some reason was living with us and she was kind of chunky and a gum-chewer. She kind of went from being a girl I made up in my dream to being this girl I actually know who kind of bothers me, back to the girl in the dream.

Anyway, we blamed her for falling asleep with gum in her mouth and causing our roller coasters to malfunction, but I found pieces of gum stuck in my hair, as if I was the one who was chewing gum. This, however, simply cannot be as I do not chew gum.

Unfortunately, my father had gotten pretty hurt. (The dream-father looked NOTHING like my real father, and so I don't think this counts as one of those dreams where I dream my father dies.) His hand was all messed up, it looked like the skin of his fingers had just slipped off because it was hanging there, still attached, like a disgusting skin-colored glove and his fingers were skin-less. They looked like normal fingers but dipped in bright red paint.

I kept my mouth shut and let them blame the girl I hated, because not only did I hate her, but I was never sure if it really was me who had done it.

Then the dream took a really weird turn, and me and a few other people, all of them middle-aged women, had to climb up on top of this thing that looked like a small, very skinny and unstable office building and reminded me for some reason of the Eiffel Tower and was in my backyard.

We got to the top of the thing (no idea how) and the wind started picking up. All of a sudden, the tower was rocking back and forth violently, and we were in grave danger of falling off. It was swaying back and forth so hard that the top of it was nearing the ground. It was a very not-probable amount of rocking.

I couldn't seem to find something to hold onto, and somehow the other women were managing to stay on. The next thing I knew, I was falling off, hit the ground (not a long fall, not the kind where if you hit the ground in the dream you die in real life, but in the dream it was still from a great height. The fall was just a split-second) and had landed on my head, so I'm not really clear on how my neck was still intact. But it was.

The end.